Types of friends mentioned in the holy Quran - Nauman Ali Khan
Nauman Ali khan talks about the importance of companionship, with reference to holy Quran.
Disclaimer : These are just notes that I took from the video. In case you think there are errors etc, please refer to the video, and let me know as well. JazakAllah. These are just notes for myself, and by no means can replace the overall effect of listening to the lecture.
Also, these notes do not necessarily cover the complete lecture, for Quranic references, and detailed examples, please refer to the complete lecture.
"a person depends on the religion of their friend, so watch out each of you who you make friends with" - Hadith.
so friends can bring downfall as well as pull you up from darkness.
terms in the quran:
1) Kareen - not used in the best words.
there is bunch of people who make it to Jannah, and one of them says "i used to have this Kareen...."
gramatically, Kareen is the kind of friend that is always with you, always in touch.
So he says that I used to have this Kareen, and wonders what happened to him. And he remembers what that friend used to say to him, "you pray and you avoid sins and all, and really, do you really think that you are on the right path?" and he remembers that the guys used to make fun of him cuz he used to avoid all of those things. And he remembers that he used to poke fun at him for not joining him in sinning.
And now when they are in Jannah, and he asks his new friends whether they want to see his old friend, so they go and see him burning in the worst part of hellfire. He looks at him and says, full of shock, "I swear by Allah, you almost took me with you" - meaning I almost listened to you. And then he realizes the favor that Allah has done to him, and says, "had it not been the favor of my Lord, I would have been from those who are being presented as an example today" - and this, the Quran says, is the ultimate success - which in this passage means the ability to be able to say NO to a friend who wants to pull you into evil deeds.
Now, you may be a Kareen to someone, or you might be the one who is effected by a Kareen. Do you in some way encourage others to swear by any means? or to do any other kind of sins? or are you the one who gets influenced by them and becomes like them just to be in their company?
There is another type of Kareen mentioned in the Quran.
Allah says, Whoever walks away from the remembrance of Allah, (either they are too busy in entertainment stuff or whatever. So much so that even when they make salat, its just standing or an exercise, and they don't remember Allah in it....), Allah assigns a shaitan who is a karim for him (as a punishment in this world), a friend who is always with him. so the moment he spares his mind of thoughts, an evil thought enters his mind. So this is a case of a Kareen assigned as a punishment walking away from the remembrance of Allah when someone can't think of anything else but evil.
2) Khazool is the second kind of friend. He is the kind of the friend who show you that they are loyal to you until the time comes that you actually need them, and they walk away at that moment. so basically a friend who is only there to use you. and the ultimate Khazool to the human beings, as mentioned in the Quran, is Shaitan. we are usually impatient when we are young, and shaitan takes control by offering instant pleasures, making us fall for them naturally. But we will really realize he is Khazool when we will be cursing him for doing this to us and he would just put the blame on us saying you had a chance to walk away and you didn't, so burn now.
3) Rafeeq - comes from the word mirfaq, which means a pillow.
A Rafeeq is a kind of friend you can count on, and turn to in the hour of need. Allah in the quran has given us a very explicit definition of who our Rufaqa are. And they are,
- the prophets,
- the sidiqeen (relentless confirmers of truth),
- the shuhadaa (those who bare witnes) - these are the people who live islam and are not afraid to show it.
- the saaliheen (the righteous) - people the do good things.
so a good measure if someone is a good friend or not is to judge whether they are making you a better person or worse, whether they are making your tongue worse? reducing you respect for elders etc etc? if yes then they are probably khazools or Kareens.
In Islam, you cannot give the excuse for making mistakes that you were young and all,
4) Wali - A wali is a protective friend, who is there not just as a friend but also to watch your back.
Who are our wali's (as mentioned in the Quran) :
1. Allah - He is our first wali
2. The messenger (saw) - what this means is that following the sunnah of the holy prophet SAW is a means of protection for us. and that includes all Sunnahs.
3. The people who believe and establish salahs (establish regular prayers), purify their money (establish zakat) and they are humble people. Now this could have been just people who believe but Allah didn't stop there, and put all these conditions on it, meaning that anyone who doesn't offer regular prayers cannot be your wali. Similarly arrogance is far worse than some of the other sins we consider as major sins.
5) Siddique - The most sincere friends. They would know what is best for you and they wont shy away from telling it straight to you. Like most friends don't say it because you might feel offended or whatever, a siddique would always say what is best for you. The example in Quran is that of Yousaf A.S, when he was sent to prison, he would say the right thing no matter what, so much so that the other prisoners would testify of him being a siddique.
6. Khalil - A very close friend, more like a sibling, who you feel connected to, and any joy that comes to them makes you genuinely happy, and any pain that comes to them hurts you. This relationship is highly honored in the holy Quran, Allah calls Ibrahim A.S as His khalil in the holy quran. And the Quran uses this word talkin about the day of judgement that on that day, no one would be of any help to you, and the closest friend you have will walk away from you.
7) Hameem - A friend who may or may not be very close to you but he acts like he is very close to you. They are very kind, generous and all. So if khalil is connected from inside, a hameem has a similar connection but only on the outside.It is used in the same reference in the Quran, that they would help each other on the day of judgement.
8) waleejah - This is a kind of friend who you trust so much that you discuss your private matters with them. This is only supposed to be a Muslim, a true believer. Allah says, dont keep secret keeping friends outside of yourselves, i.e outside of Muslims, since non-muslims would harm you. For the simple reason that they don't themselves realize what is good for them, how can they advise you correctly?
9) Akhdan - friends that you are attracted to. (we call them boyfriends or girlfriends these days) Allah says in the Quran that when you are looking to get married, its not just that you are looking akhdaan, marriage for us is far far more important that just attraction. (and the lecture gives awesome advice regarding this towards the end, after about 46:00)
As a conclusion, its all about the hadith mentioned in the beginning, "a person depends on the religion of their friend, so watch out each of you who you make friends with" - so no lecture can keep you on the right path forever, no scholar can convince you to it, it depends on your company. So watch your company, it will define a lot of things about you.